What you should learn from Eric Cartman

So u got all these posts about "top 10 reasons u should eat your brain", "9186 ways of making money online " and "100 ways to increase the size of your duck! "and, hey, then you got me a post hollering about the most "love to hate" character in the Internet Age.... (drum roll) .... Eric Cartman!

Now what can we learn from that "Joo" hating, "Cheezy Poofs" hogging, selfish fat a**? Sit back and relax! I'm giving you a bulletized ride of the things we can learn from Cartman!

• Be shameless!
  Ok, time to be sweet-word-man. I mean, "be bold when the situation demands it". For example you need to go to the stage and talk for giving a presentation or acting or voicing your opinion! Have you ever ever seen cartman crap in his pants if he has to talk the president or the ceo or the principal? Have a look at the number of times he takes on roles or talks his way into convincing people.
• Convert cr** and make money
  In my "nice abhi" words - "Be creative". I am an entrepreneur-yet-to-be-successsful (NO! I am NOT A PIPE Dreamer! DAMN IT! ).
  Have you seen the way he turns stuff into making profit for him? The episode on  stem cell research, crack baby athletic team, as a talent agent firm or creating his own "Faith+1" record? The list is almost endless....(yeah! I am exaggerating! Any problem?).
  In short be alert, there must be a niche in which you can make money by being creative.
• Don't cry and be a pussy...cat
  Don't you ever feel sorry for him considering his family? I felt it a million times.
  I always feel he avoids it by ripping on other people, indulging in food and gifts for himself at someone else's birthday.
  For a 8 year old kid I think that's fine. We all take sh** in our lives! But we should take heart and fight ahead (I find it hard to follow myself - but I hope Eric Cartman shows you some hope! )
    
• Enjoy stuff
  When was the last time you relished eating chocolate? I mean, when did u last put it in your mouth, feel the sugar and it melted, and the smoothness of milk gave you a high?
  To enjoy the ipad , a restaurant (like in the episode Casa Bonita) or a toy, just watch cartman. He really really really likes the stuff he has.Next time you have something new - Stare at it and say -"This is so kewl! I love this! Sweeeet!". This technique works all the time! Believe it!
• Hate hippie culture!!
  "Peace and love" - oh the hippies are so nice! WROOONNGGG! You want to walk around people who are high on drugs and doing awful stuff with their bodies ? No right?
  If you're not convinced I'll give you a bigger reason not to be a hippie or support them! We all live on this big planet called earth ? What would happen if some aliens decided to attack us? How would you hit those aliens in the nuts? Would hippies help? NOOOOHHH! Its the scientists, the army that will help us kick their butt! There's also this giant a** rock named Apophis hurtling towards us and might hit us on April 13th 2036. How are we going to punch it in the face to ask it to go chill somewhere else? Its technology you guys! you need people with brains to deal with these stuff ,not hippies!!!!
• He makes you laugh!
  Yes, I have always found myself day dreaming about what Cartman said and laughing at it.